Blackness Taking Over
by kc creation
Summary: Haru fights a battle. Kyo wages a war. Kyo will leave forever and Haru's heart will follow. In the end, they aren't so different after all. kxh


**Blackness Taking Over**

He had been raised to fight.

They said it was just his nature, to hurt and destroy, and that he couldn't be blamed for it. The ox was born to bicker, to throw temper tantrums, and occasionally, to go so far as to actually hurt someone. It was bred into his blood, they said. Completely instinct. The other Sohmas, those born without the burden of the curse but well informed enough to know of it, would egg him on from time to time. They would mutter sinister things just loud enough for him to overhear, and when he snapped, oh, that was just _his nature._

"_How could the ox be tricked so easily? It must truly be a stupid beast."_

"_Obviously, nothing has changed since then."_

He never intended to hurt anyone, but as soon as he would hear those scathing words, a familiar black fog would seep into his vision, taking over his actions and dooming him to another rampage. Admittedly, he could remember the vast majority of the things he'd done, but he had just as much control of his actions as he would if his life were a movie, and he was stuck in the audience watching as everything was torn apart. This was the curse he bore. It was a burden that the others didn't give a second thought. To them, it was just a quirk, but there were many nights when he wouldn't sleep at all.

_'Remember that time you freaked out and broke Momiji's wrist?' _

his mind would whisper.

_'Or when you lost your temper and hit that teacher in the face?'_

And he would simply lie there, fists clenched and expression unusually troubled compared to his usual placid exterior.

"_No," _he would hiss, face contorted as if he were in physical pain. _"That wasn't me. That wasn't me!"_

No one ever blamed him, he knew, but he also knew that deep down, he was regarded as nothing short of a ticking time bomb. It was just a matter of when he would explode.

To him, every day was a battle.

If not with himself, then with everyone around him.

_'Don't let them get to you.. Don't let yourself go black.'_

_'Whatever you do, God, don't let yourself go black.'_

The world seemed so fragile, as if it would break at the slightest tremor, and of course, his anger was an earthquake. He was out of control. No one was safe from him.

Except, of course, for Kyo.

Yuki would say that he was strong enough to fight back, but at any mention of Akito, he would become completely useless in a fight (he knew this, unfortunately, from experience). With Kyo, however, you could say almost anything, you could hit him as hard as you could, and it would only fuel his anger and the urge for him to kick the everliving crap out of you.

There had been a time, many years ago, when the two of them had been arguing over one thing or another. Haru had felt that terrible blackness taking over and had become desperate, oh-so desperate, not to black out and hurt his older cousin. So, he said something so horrible that he was sure it would scare the cat away forever. That was better, wasn't it? He would scare all of his friends away if that meant keeping them safe.

Kyo had called him stupid, and he called him words that Haru hadn't -at the time- really understood (words that he now realized a boy his age shouldn't have even known), and in his desperation..

"_I may be stupid, but at least I'm not a monster!"_

To his surprise, Kyo hadn't been scared off.

Although, the punch in the face that he earned had definitely gotten rid of that hazy blackness.

He hadn't realized it then, or even years afterward, but at the age of seventeen, when Kyo was only months away from the cage, he finally saw the truth that had always been right in front of him.

Kyo was not fragile. The ox didn't have to worry about hurting him. On the contrary, actually, as it was usually the other way around. It felt like silence after a thousand years of screaming, like sleep after weeks of insomnia. He could let go. He could be himself. He could get pissed off and not worry about the hurtful things he would say or the wounds he might cause. With the cat, he wasn't strong enough to land a punch, and he wasn't witty enough to land an insult.

What a strange blessing.

He'd made a point recently of letting the older boy know just how wonderful this made him feel, regardless of the fact that Kyo was unaware that he had solved any problem the younger teen may or may not have had. His small gifts weren't exactly subtle, but who said that he intended for them to be? Surely not him. After years of chasing Yuki and Rin, he'd grown more mature in his mannerisms, but there were times when he fought back the urge to grasp the thin material of Kyo's uniform between his fingers and follow him around like a lost dog. Of course, the older teen didn't seem to appreciate that too much, but secretly, Haru liked to imagine that he was flattered. Maybe. Just a little.

He sighed softly, taking in the noises of the night and the smell of dew and dead leaves in the unusually hot and humid November air. The metal of the swing set felt sticky beneath his tight grip. It groaned beneath his weight. There was a single swing beside him, the faded red of its plastic seat bathed in moonlight as it swayed slowly to and fro, squeaking occasionally in the nearly nonexistent wind. He pushed himself forward with a booted foot, savoring the gentle breeze his slow swinging created. He contemplated sliding, or climbing the jungle gym, but decided against it. Sneaking out to swing in an old, rundown park was bad enough. He chuckled, running his palm over the rough metal of the chains. It was a beautiful night, regardless of the heat.

He knew for certain that the next day would be hellish. He would wake up late, tired and sore, dress groggily and drag himself to school. He was sure he would, but there was a certain sunshine that resided in the school, and he couldn't bring himself to be miserable when he knew that that fire would burn the brightest for him. Whether the cat knew it or not, lately, everyone was noticing that a fight with Haru seemed to be his favorite thing in the world. His eyes would widen, pupils dilating, fists clenched and muscles twitching in anticipation. His breath would be ragged, skin glistening with sweat, blood on his teeth, lips swollen- but he would be smiling. He'd laugh at the ox's better joking retorts, and on lucky days, when Haru came oh-so close to winning, he'd give him a firm pat on the back.

"You're getting better"

he would say each time, and sometimes he would add in a hushed, more urgent tone,

"Someday, you'll have to beat that damn rat for me."

He would then laugh, sadly.

Haru would always stare at him in silence after that, caught between laughing along as if he didn't see the giant elephant in the room (the fact that Kyo wouldn't be there to beat Yuki himself. He wouldn't go to college or have a future. He would die alone in that cold, dark cage, and everyone would forget about him eventually.), or snatching the cat into the most tender hug he could muster, comfort him, and let him cry or scream or whatever he needed to do. Maybe then he would swoop down and kiss him gently. They would run away to Paris and get married, adopt children, grow old. This fantasy surfaced so often that he had to fight to keep it down. Just like that, unknowingly, he had begun another battle.

_'Don't scare him off. Don't remind him of graduation. Don't jump him and molest him like you know you want to.'_

He had fought many stupid battles in his life, but this was unlike any other. In the end, it was the only one that really mattered.

The wind threw back his sweat dampened hair, and he realized with a start just how high he had been pushing himself on the old swing. It seemed to scream in protest of such treatment. Out of concern for his own well being, he dug his heels into the dirt and steadied himself. As the squeaking faded to a mere whisper, he took notice of a rustling in the trees. It was just an animal, he told himself. For some reason, it didn't occur to him to be scared. The playground was far too comforting. It was so desolate and barren, resembling an old memory or a dream in all its loneliness. It was preserved perfectly, just for him. His own little oasis in the vapid desert that was his life. _Alright, no more metaphors_, he told himself.

The rustling picked up again, before a small, fuzzy white head peeked out from one of the countless bushes that grew just a few feet in front of him. It mewled rather loudly, as if proud of itself.

_'A cat?' _He wondered curiously. _'Wandering around the woods at night?'_

Soon, the noise it was creating increased tenfold, and nearly fifteen, even twenty small, fluffy cats and kittens appeared through the shrubbery.

"All of these cats.."

He announced to the night.

"..a mystery."

The noise stopped abruptly, and forty-plus cat eyes blinked up at him expectantly.

"_Stupid."_

A familiar voice scoffed from behind him, and he didn't have to turn around to put two-and-two together. He did turn, however, just to see the flustered expression on a rather pressed looking Kyo's face. His hair was a mess, and the gray-blue jacket he wore was zipped only halfway and hung from one shoulder. The white tank top he wore beneath it was wrinkled and sticking to his chest with sweat. His pajama pants were covered in dirt and forest debris, and while he had, thankfully, decided to wear tennis shoes, they weren't both from the same pair.

Regardless, Haru thought he looked quite breathtaking.

"You found me."

He drew out softly, boots grinding into the dirt as he situated himself.

"Yeah.."

Kyo answered briefly, circling the swing set so Haru could stop straining his back to see him.

"Momiji said you would be here.. and I had some help."

He motioned halfheartedly at the felines surrounding him and they voiced their undying love and affection in loud mewls, earning a scowl from the orange headed teen.

"You seemed quite eager to get here."

Haru noted, looking the other up and down once more.

"Why?"

The cat then flushed darkly, although it was difficult to see in the night. He dug around in his jacket pocket for moment, fishing out a worn, folded piece of paper and fiddling with it idly.

"I got your stupid letter."

He muttered, embarrassed.

"You could have just given it to me, you know. No one mails letters anymore."

The ox smiled, extending a hand to grasp the paper as the cat came toward him. Instead of handing it over, however, he took a seat on the vacant swing to Haru's right, unfolding it and eying the words warily.

"It wouldn't be much of a love letter if I didn't mail it."

He decided not to add that he had contemplated putting it in a bottle, before he realized that Kyo probably didn't have access to a bottle opener. (Not to mention that he didn't have a bottle lying around, so his plan was completely foiled.)

"That's stupid logic."

The cat shot back sharply, but the tender way he handled the paper betrayed him.

"You could have called." Haru suggested, feeling rather shy despite himself. "Why go through the trouble of finding me?"

The older teen's crimson eyes never left the page, one hand gripping the swing as it swayed under his weight. The park was definitely not made with teenage boys in mind.

"I did."

Kyo grumbled.

"You didn't pick up.. So I called Momiji to see if you were dicking around with him again"

_'Dicking around?'_ He wanted to ask, but opted to ignore it in favor of a more important matter.

"Were you really so surprised by the letter?"

His voice was low, but somewhat amused. Kyo's brow furrowed in aggravation.

"You ask too many questions."

He scowled, finally passing the paper to Haru. The ox skimmed over his handiwork, insides fluttering with pride. He had never been much of a writer, but thinking of his love for the older teen made the pen dance across the page.

"It's just.."

Kyo trailed off, gripping the swing with his free hand and pushing himself forward.

"It's just.. If you pulled that kind of shit with Rin and Yuki, I don't see how they could have possibly rejected you."

Even in the dark, Haru could see his blush. The cat must have realized this, because he turned his head away bashfully.

It took a moment for the words to register, and he couldn't, for the life of him, bring himself to believe what he was hearing. The older teen was now gripping the swing so tightly that his knuckles turned white.

"You say that," The black and white haired teen argued, disappointment underlying the jest in his voice, "but you haven't exactly accepted me either."

He could feel the tension rolling off of the cat.

"Asshole."

Was the hissed reply.

"I came all the way out here for a reason."

Haru's heart skipped a beat. He struggled to find his voice.

"A-and that reason is?"

He hoped, that in his own embarrassment, the cat didn't notice the shakiness of his voice. No such luck.

"Don't act so embarrassed! Like you haven't been practically stalking me for the past few months!"

The orange-head snapped.

Dammit, how was he supposed to explain that Kyo always made him nervous on the inside? It may not have ever shown on his face, but it was so hard not to just grab the teen and smash their lips together. That's what made him so nervous! If he wasn't fighting to keep his other self at bay, he was fighting down his rampant libido. Although, he imagined that if Kyo wasn't so violent, it wouldn't be so bad to let the latter win.

"So," He drew out, mentally wiping away the dirty thoughts that had suddenly decided to implant themselves in his head. "You came here for a reason..?"

He resisted the urge to add, _'and not just to see my pretty face?' _Surely the cat wouldn't appreciate such a joke in his current state of aggravation.

"Yes," The cat grit out, face flushed and eyes glistening in the moonlight. _Focus, Haru, focus!_

He couldn't quite look the younger teen in the face, lips drawn in a small pout, fists clenched. Haru was momentarily reminded of their many fights, the adrenaline rush, skin against skin, sweat and blood mixing as the air around them grew heavy and hot. _Focus! _He stopped himself, wondering if he was even still about fighting.. No, not really.

"Well," The cat's voice was harsh as it cut through the silence, so loud loud that Haru could swear even the crickets stopped for a moment out of fear. Most of the cats had left by then, probably to find their way back to their homes, but four or five stayed behind to watch the exchange with mild interest.

"I read your damn letter," Obviously, but Haru didn't interrupt. "..and I think you're an idiot who's in way over his head, and making the biggest mistake of his life."

Not exactly the response he was looking for, but he could roll with it. (Not as if he was holding his breath for a possible confession of love or anything.)

"You came all the way out here to call me an idiot?"

He questioned, surprisingly bemused rather than distraught. Maybe it was shock, or even denial.

"No! Shut Up! You're not letting me finish!"

Kyo bristled, and the remaining cats' ears picked up at his screeched outburst. Their eyes were wide as saucers as they watched their master spaz out. How cute.

Suddenly, Haru was very aware of the serious air that had taken over the conversation. Kyo's eyes looked hard, his mouth set in a stern line. He still wouldn't look at the younger teen.

"You do realize that I only have a few months left?"

Haru felt his heart clench.

Of course he realized it. Did the cat think he'd sneaked out in the middle of the night to mope about nothing? Did he honestly believe that Haru wasn't counting down the days, and with each little box checked off of his calendar, did the older boy think that his heart didn't hurt a little more?

"Yes, I do." He answered finally. "But I prefer to look on the bright side."

Their eyes met at long last, the older of the two raising his eyebrow, half confused, half offended.

"At least I won't have to worry about you cheating on me."

He was answered with a scowl so cold that it momentarily felt like winter.

"This is nothing to joke about, asshat!"

He smiled at the insult.

"I'm sorry.. but I _would_.."

He trailed off mid-sentence, not quite sure how to convey his jumbled thoughts.

Kyo watched him curiously. He resembled their little audience of felines, with his eyes so round and expression so expectant. He found it hard to keep his mind clear while taking in such an adorable display.

"I would like to enjoy.. the time we have left."

We, he said, because he truly felt that his life would end when the cat was locked away.

"Enjoy it?" Kyo repeated, confusion laced in his voice. Haru took a moment more to take in the cat's appearance. Messy orange hair, guarded crimson eyes, and those beautiful peach-colored lips that parted so prettily. He wondered if they tasted of peach as well.

"May I kiss you?"

He found himself asking. Kyo's lips really did look especially delicious at that very moment.

"Are you honestly asking me?" The cat scoffed. The younger boy grinned at the remark.

"Yes, you can, dumbass."

He leaned in slowly, wiping a stray strand of hair from the cat's face, then cupping his cheek gently. Kyo's eyes were nearly round, pupils dilated, lips full and tempting. Within an inch of those perfect lips, however, he stopped. The older teen's breath felt cool compared to the humid air. His eyes stared back, half open, into Haru's own as if they could see right into his soul. His cheeks were rosy and he trembled slightly in impatience. The ox just couldn't seem to get himself to move.

_'This may be the last time I get to kiss him.. We may never have this moment again. Kyo really does look beautiful..'_

"I know what you're thinking," the cat interrupted his thoughts for what seemed like the billionth time that night. "_Get a move on it!_ This can't be the last time we do this if we never get around to actually_ doing _it!"

Haru blinked, cheeks warming slightly.

"Terrible choice of words, kitty-cat."

It was then that the older boy growled, grabbed the black and white haired teen by the back of his neck, and crashed their lips together. _Pure heaven_, was all that Haru's mind could muster. Seventeen years of being in that goddamn family. Seventeen years of betrayal, hardship, and fighting a daily battle with himself. Seventeen years all leading up to that single, heavenly moment in which Kyo's lips met his and time itself froze. Then, as suddenly as it had begun, it was over.

The cat pulled away. He cleared his throat nervously.

"Happy now?"

Kyo's tone was condescending, but his eyes were soft.

"Yes." Haru answered, realizing that his expression was probably rather goofy, but too pleased to care. He touched his lips with disbelieving fingers. _Had he dreamed it?_

"Very."

The sounds of the night seemed to pick up again, as the crickets chirped and the breeze rolled through the treetops.

"Good, because I'm not writing you a damn love letter."

Laughter leaped from his throat and suddenly, he felt free. No more fighting. If he wanted to kiss the older boy again -even a billion more times- he sure as Hell wasn't going to force down the urge anymore.

He was startled slightly as the cat rested his head on his shoulder with a tired yawn. He fished Haru's cellphone from its snug home in his tight pants pocket. _'How did he know which pocket to look in?' _Surely he hadn't been examining Haru's crotch long enough to spot his phone? (If only.)

"It's 3AM." The older teen's voice was a low monotone. He was exhausted, Haru could tell. "School's going to be shitty tomorrow."

He found himself running tired fingers through the cat's thick hair, frizzed from heat and damp with sweat.

"Would you like to skip with me?" He offered. They could go out to eat, or see a movie.

"No. I have to go."

The cat's answer was curt. He could feel him becoming tense.

Haru didn't see the point in Kyo going to school anymore, really. If he was in the older teen's position, he would have dropped out a long time ago. To travel, maybe, or at least have some type of unforgettable experience before he was locked away forever.

Kyo pulled the ox's hand from his hair, lacing their fingers together and staring up into the night sky.

"None of the other cats graduated." He whispered.

Of course, in Kyo's position, anyone would opt to have an adventure instead of wasting their precious time in school. Especially if they only had a few months left, but Kyo was different. He hoped with every fiber of his being that he could escape his fate, and he was driven by the undeniable urge to be free, and the knowledge that he had to work harder than anyone else to succeed, to prove his worthiness to even be alive. He alone had to live with himself once he was locked away, and he had to know that he had at least _graduated_. If he was going to live and die like a cat, he had to know that he had tried to be better.

"What would you like to do more than anything before you.."

The sentence was left unfinished. Haru didn't have to go on.

The older teen closed his eyes, running his thumb over the ox's larger, paler hand.

"I'm doing it right now."

He felt it then, the warmth radiating from the cat's very being. The hope and fear, the desperate plea to be heard, to be noticed,_ to be free._

"You make me very happy, Kyo"

He murmured, kissing the top of the other boy's head. He was answered with a soft hum of acknowledgment.

"I.." Kyo's voice trembled. The tenseness had returned after only a moment of calm.

"I always felt like I was fighting against my _other form_.. fighting, everyday.."

He whispered shakily. "Like I was waging a war against everything I hated about myself and all the people who hated me.._ and_ _everyday_.. it felt as if I was losing, but if I didn't try, I'd go insane."

Haru's eyes widened. He felt himself shaking slightly at the words. _'A battle..'_

"But not with you." The younger teen felt tears prick his eyes.

"No.. With you.. I can be me.. No more fighting."

Haru buried his nose in the sea of orange hair, smelling a scent that could only belong to Kyo, and basking in his warmth.

"I love you." The ox half-sobbed, half-whispered, tightening his grip on the older boy's hand. "I really do."

He could sense the teen's smile, even though he was blinded by the blur of unshed tears and an ocean of orange.

"I love you too." was the answer, and upon actually hearing those words leave Kyo's mouth, he felt the dam break and tears cascade down his cheeks. He couldn't remember the last time he'd cried, just that it was years ago. He also, coincidentally, couldn't remember the last time he'd ever felt so happy. Just, that it too, had probably been years ago.

"I think it's starting to rain." The cat piped up, completely misunderstanding the situation and the sudden mysterious droplets on his arms.

"Maybe." Haru spoke, trying to stifle a laugh. "Would you like to head home?"

Kyo shifted slightly, resting his free hand on Haru's chest.

"No, I think I'd like to stay here.. just a little longer."

He was aware of the crickets once more, as the purrs of of their sleeping feline audience reached his ears. The forgotten love letter lay comfortably on the dewy grass a few inches away. Haru smiled once more, inhaling the scent of his new boyfriend (oh, how he loved that new boyfriend smell), trying to memorize it, along with the absolutely perfect way their bodies molded together.

Haru realized then, for the first time that night, they he had fought many battles in his life, but none quite as important as this. And none, of course, quite as rewarding.

_Fin. _

–

_Bahh, I need sleep. Although, I feel that typing this entire story in one night was completely worth the exhaustion. _

_sleeeeeeeeep~  
_


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